Written by Angela Lacalamita, MA, LCPC
Over the years, there has been intense debate over whether one’s sexual orientation is chosen or biologically determined. Despite significant evidence that suggests that sexual orientation is genetically determined, many people in our society strongly believe that homosexuals chose their sexual orientation. Those that believe the aforementioned are entitled to their views. However, this only raises further debate as to why someone would chose to face discrimination, be seen as a threat to family values and also an abomination to God. Regardless of your values and beliefs, many parents will be faced with revelation that their child is gay. Dealing with the possibility that your child is gay can be stressful for many parents and families. Feelings of anger, denial and guilt are commonly experienced and can be difficult to manage. Finding it within yourself to accept your child’s sexual identity is not easy. Discouraging your child’s feelings may be your first response. Regardless of how you feel about homosexuality, your child needs acceptance, love and support more than ever. You have two options, one is allowing your child’s worst fear to come true, that he or she will be rejected or accept your child as being the same person as before they acknowledged their homosexuality. Remember, your child’s sexual orientation is just one part of who they are. Nothing about him or her has changed. Offer support to your child. Seek support from other parents who have gay or lesbian children. Don’t feel ashamed of your child, there is nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian or bisexual, nor is it a mental health problem. The only thing that is wrong is the discrimination that gays and lesbians face. We must learn to accept and love without judging or hurting one another. We have far more in common with one another than we have in differences.
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